Ahoy me hearties!

I have a colleague in work who adores this particular day, and has tried for years to get us to do something to celebrate it - he still didn't manage this year! lol!

But he did send around a very funny email, which I wanted to share. I can see from my flist that others like this day too, so all to the good!

Talk like a pirate

The basics

Pirate lingo is rich and complicated, sort of like a good stew.

But if you just want a quick fix, a surface gloss, a "pirate patina," if you will, here are the five basic words that you cannot live without. Master them, and you can face Talk Like a Pirate Day with a smile on your face and a parrot on your shoulder, if that's your thing.

Ahoy! - "Hello!"

Avast! - Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, "Whoa! Get a load of that!" which today makes it more of a "Check it out" or "No way!" or "Get off!"

Aye! - "Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did."

Aye aye! - "I'll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over."

Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that television show!" and "That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Advanced pirate lingo; or On beyond "Aarrr!"

Once you've mastered the basics, you're ready to start expanding your pirate vocabulary. Try these for starters

Beauty - The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by "me," as in, "C'mere, me beauty," or even, "me buxom beauty,"

Bilge rat - The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It's loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship.

Bung hole - Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That's all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn't it?

Grog - An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren't prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won't stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor's water ration - to kill the rancid taste.

Hornpipe - Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do.

Lubber - (or land lubber) This is the seaman's version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. On Talk Like A Pirate Day - More likely than not, you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if you're talking like a pirate! Then the word lubber becomes one of the more fierce weapons in your arsenal of piratical lingo. In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is ALWAYS an insult.

Smartly - Do something quickly. On Talk Like A Pirate Day - "Smartly, me lass," you might say when sending the bar maid off for another round. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer.

And since one of the other guys is of German descent and gets affectionately teased about it....

How to talk like a German pirate

Brise: wind. "Eine leichte Brise" is barily noticable, "eine steife Brise" makes you hold your hat. If you wish a pirate luck, end it with the wish "und immer eine steife Brise!" ('and always a strong wind')

Ankern: to anchor a ship. Also called 'vor Anker gehen'. If you want to stop somewhere, regardless of if you have a ship with you or not, this s the nifty german pirate term for it.

Backbord: The left side of a ship, or port. Nowadays, that is where the red light shines, but back in the pirate days the red light of course shone in the harbor bars.

Bug: The front side of the ship, or prow/bow.

Entern: to capture a ship.

Enterhaken: grappling hook

Entermesser: a cutlass. A real pirate never leaves his cabin without one.

Hai: a shark. "Zu den Haien schicken" means to send someone to the sharks.

Haken: a hook, like every pirate has one instead of his hand. "Bei meinem Haken!" would be a good curse or affirmative, e.g.: "We'll sink them, bei meinem Haken!"

Hamburger Feermaster: a large ship from Hamburg with four masts. Part of a well-known sailors song, which starts like "Ick hebb mol en Hamburger Feermaster sehn Tomyhooooday, tomyhooooday, de Masten so schiep as dem Schiffer sein Bein Tomyhooooday hodayhooooh..." If you are doing nothing, mumbling "tomyhoood ay" under your breath will make look like a nifty german pirate.

Hanse: A powerful merchants union from the 13th century and later, the Hanse controlled almost all cargo ships during Stoertebecker time. As such, the Hanse is still a great name for a pirates adversary.

Heck: The back side of the ship, or stern.

Irrlicht: Will'-o'-wisp. The "Irrlichter" (plural) are feared too, for they trick ships to sail on rocks or are sure signs for imminent disaster if seen in the rigging.

Kielholen: Drag people along the keel of the ship. 'Keelhauling' in english. Since 'Kiel' is also a port city in germany, 'Kielholen' can be used for really bad pirate puns.

Klabautermann: a kind of sea kobold. Although small in size, the Klabautermann is greatly feared among seafarers, for to see it on your ship will surely mean it will sink. "Beim Klabautermann!" makes a great curse or affirmative.

Kogge: A merchants ship from the 13th century. When talking like a pirate in germany, this is the archetypical victim, or "Prise", of the pirates. Plural 'Koggen'.

Küstenschiffer: Derogatory term for a sailor or pirate, implying that he clings near to the coast and fears the high seas.

Landratte: Literally a 'land rat', a common derogatory term for someone who is not a sailor at all. Plural 'Landratten'.

Leichtmatrose: Derogatory term for another sailor. Implies that that one isn't used to the high seas.

Maat: An official rank on a ship, below 'Kapitän' or better "Käpt'n". If there are only two pirates, one is probably the "Käpt'n" and the other one the "Maat".

Papagei: a parrot. If you want to express your surprise at something, you could say "Da fällt mir doch der Papagei von der Schulter!", which would literally mean something like "that makes the parrot fall from my shoulder", but is intended to mean you are surprised.

Pfeffersack: Literally a bag of pepper, this is a derogatory term for a merchant, and probably for anyone who you want to plunder. Plural 'Pfeffersaecke'.

Planke: the plank. "Über die Planke schicken" means to send someone over the plank, into the shark-infested waters of course.

Priese: Pirate lingo for a ship that is supposed to be plundered. Like 'victim', but referrring to ships.

Reeling: The outer edge of the deck. "Über die Reeling gehen" means going overboard.

Schillerlocken: a meal consisting of cooked shark flesh. Quite befitting a pirate.
# I just found the German section! A "Schillerlocke" is not actually "cooked" shark meat but smoked strips of shark belly - fair tasty it be too! The plural is "Schillerlocken", named after the curly locks of hair of one Herr Schiller. They were given this name because the strips of shark meat curl as they are smoked. -- Geof Barker - in Cap'n Stärtebecker's footsteps

Smutje: The cook of a ship. If there are only three pirates, one is probably the 'Käpt'n', one the 'Maat' and one the 'Smutje'.

Steuerbord: The right side of the ship. Starboard in english.

Stoertebecker: The famous german pirate who harassed the ships of the Hanse merchants around the end of the 13th century from his hideout at Helgoland. If you swear, "bei Stoertebeckers Bart!" would be a good addition.

Actually very interesting - you can see some of the terminology we use today! I love stuff like that!