Seriously, do I ask too much?
Mar. 13th, 2009 06:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gothams3rdrobinRowan simply will not put his toys away. And when he does, he gets them all out again when he's supposed to be asleep, making even more of a mess than before.
I've tried to tackle it by negotiating with him; he can put away a certain set of toys (his Playmobil, for example) one evening, then something else the next day, and so on until the room is done. That way he's not, as I always am, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff to put away. I got reward charts and stars involved, and everything - but no.
This has been going on all year, and it is dangerous to walk in his room now. So I declared that he must put everything away in the cardboard boxes left over from the floods. He agreed to this, as his default reaction to any demand is to act like it's no skin off his nose - that's gotten him in trouble at school once or twice.
So, first thing this morning I handed him box number one and told him to get started. Within half-an hour he'd put a handful of things in by chucking them in from long distance (and generally missing) and I was getting very, very mad. I ended up holing myself away in my bedroom with the laptop and a cup of tea, before I let my temper get the better of me. I do have a very, very nasty temper if I'm pushed far enough, and Rowan is one of the few who can push the buttons with me - anyone else, I would run off to cry in a corner.
After a little while he came in, wanting reassurance he was still loved etc. - I had calmed down enough for that, but I was still pretty angry, which only served to agitate him more and he got unbearably clingy. No matter how often I tell him to give me space when I'm angry, he will not stop clinging to me looking for hugs and kisses, which just makes me even more agitated. *sigh*
He began to nag for his lunch, but we had nothing in and needed to go shopping. He eventually got dressed, but we had another row about him getting his shoes on since he wanted to eat straight away, not go to the supermarket. He ended up going for a cry on the sofa in the living room and falling asleep there for a while. By about half-three I was starving hungry, so I ordered a pizza - determined to eat most of it myself, since he was being such a gobshite.
After we'd eaten I sent him back in his room to carry on clearing it out, but instead he chose to play. He got inside his Playmobil pirate ship last night, and has been systematically destroying the polystyrene that fills the gaps inside the ship's hull - the stuff is everywhere, and he's been sawing at it with the bendy plastic sail-rigging. If that breaks then the toy is essentially ruined, but he won't accept that. Plus there's now little white fragments all over the room, which he is endlessly amused by 'cause he thinks it's like snow!
I could feel my temper rising again, so I've banished him to his bedroom till the morning.
Honestly, though! I can't be being that unreasonable with him - I know I was expected to clean up my room when I was seven. Hell, I was washing dishes, making cups of tea.... He gets off lightly in comparison.
I've tried to tackle it by negotiating with him; he can put away a certain set of toys (his Playmobil, for example) one evening, then something else the next day, and so on until the room is done. That way he's not, as I always am, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff to put away. I got reward charts and stars involved, and everything - but no.
This has been going on all year, and it is dangerous to walk in his room now. So I declared that he must put everything away in the cardboard boxes left over from the floods. He agreed to this, as his default reaction to any demand is to act like it's no skin off his nose - that's gotten him in trouble at school once or twice.
So, first thing this morning I handed him box number one and told him to get started. Within half-an hour he'd put a handful of things in by chucking them in from long distance (and generally missing) and I was getting very, very mad. I ended up holing myself away in my bedroom with the laptop and a cup of tea, before I let my temper get the better of me. I do have a very, very nasty temper if I'm pushed far enough, and Rowan is one of the few who can push the buttons with me - anyone else, I would run off to cry in a corner.
After a little while he came in, wanting reassurance he was still loved etc. - I had calmed down enough for that, but I was still pretty angry, which only served to agitate him more and he got unbearably clingy. No matter how often I tell him to give me space when I'm angry, he will not stop clinging to me looking for hugs and kisses, which just makes me even more agitated. *sigh*
He began to nag for his lunch, but we had nothing in and needed to go shopping. He eventually got dressed, but we had another row about him getting his shoes on since he wanted to eat straight away, not go to the supermarket. He ended up going for a cry on the sofa in the living room and falling asleep there for a while. By about half-three I was starving hungry, so I ordered a pizza - determined to eat most of it myself, since he was being such a gobshite.
After we'd eaten I sent him back in his room to carry on clearing it out, but instead he chose to play. He got inside his Playmobil pirate ship last night, and has been systematically destroying the polystyrene that fills the gaps inside the ship's hull - the stuff is everywhere, and he's been sawing at it with the bendy plastic sail-rigging. If that breaks then the toy is essentially ruined, but he won't accept that. Plus there's now little white fragments all over the room, which he is endlessly amused by 'cause he thinks it's like snow!
I could feel my temper rising again, so I've banished him to his bedroom till the morning.
Honestly, though! I can't be being that unreasonable with him - I know I was expected to clean up my room when I was seven. Hell, I was washing dishes, making cups of tea.... He gets off lightly in comparison.
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-16 09:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-16 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-19 04:12 am (UTC)And getting either child to clean anything has always been worse than impossible.
On the other hand, D#1's room these days (at age almost 16) is probably the cleanest room in our apartment. D#2's; I can't enter because it is such a mess...
All I can say is, um, good luck.