gothams3rdrobin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gothams3rdrobin) wrote2008-06-25 05:50 pm
gothams3rdrobin) wrote2008-06-25 05:50 pm
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Elaborating on my vague comment earlier....
I'm a naturally quiet person, unless I know you really well. Then, if our friendship allows it, I can get very affectionately cheeky and enjoy a spot of banter. Not saying I'm any good at it, but I try.
I try this once in a while at work, jumping into open conversations with the odd comment - be it an attempt at wit, a personal anecdote or the answer to some question or other. But pretty much all my life people have seemed to make assumptions about me, never taking the time to get to know me. I really don't know why that is.
In the last couple of months, not only have I been told I'm weird by someone who hasn't had much contact with me till recently, I've also had a lot of remarks regarding my eagerness to eat. So much so that I've chosen to stop eating entirely during working hours (but don't worry, I am making sure I eat before and after - I have no intention of developing an eating disorder, thanks)
A couple of weeks ago we had a buffet laid on for us, and the person who told me I was weird made a comment that she was surprised I wasn't the first in line. This hurt so much that I deliberately held back the following week when we had a pizza delivery as the winners of a team competition.
Yesterday I attended a presentation for those who have reached their five year anniversary in the company, where we were given a special glass paperweight (the VIP Exec who gave them out dropped mine! *shakes head* Good thing it didn't get damaged) and some Marks & Spencer vouchers, and tea and cakes were laid on for after. I decide to risk getting something from the refreshment table, but right behind me is my supervisor and our Operations manager, who start in on comments like "Oh here we go - remember, you can only have one cake!"
*sighs*
It's mostly meant in fun, but seriously, how the hell did I get such a reputation? I know I used to get pretty impatient for the trolley to turn up, but that was my breakfast most mornings. And my blood sugar levels were often dropping by mid-afternoon so a snack from the second run-through was always welcome. Plus, it's not like I was constantly raiding the snacks in the incentives cupboard.
And today the same Operations Manager managed to make a fool of himself when he came by to ask how I'd spent the M&S vouchers (he's friendly-nosy like that, not rude-nosy) and said he was surprised I hadn't used them to buy outfits for my online stuff. I questioned what he was on about, and he admitted that he thought my online role-playing was, essentially, CosPlay with webcams! I had to laugh as I explained it's basically creative writing, and he did seem suitably embarrassed, but honestly!
We're not supposed to keep our heads down and not interact with the rest of the team, but if they're gonna get such weird impressions of me? I think I will.
I try this once in a while at work, jumping into open conversations with the odd comment - be it an attempt at wit, a personal anecdote or the answer to some question or other. But pretty much all my life people have seemed to make assumptions about me, never taking the time to get to know me. I really don't know why that is.
In the last couple of months, not only have I been told I'm weird by someone who hasn't had much contact with me till recently, I've also had a lot of remarks regarding my eagerness to eat. So much so that I've chosen to stop eating entirely during working hours (but don't worry, I am making sure I eat before and after - I have no intention of developing an eating disorder, thanks)
A couple of weeks ago we had a buffet laid on for us, and the person who told me I was weird made a comment that she was surprised I wasn't the first in line. This hurt so much that I deliberately held back the following week when we had a pizza delivery as the winners of a team competition.
Yesterday I attended a presentation for those who have reached their five year anniversary in the company, where we were given a special glass paperweight (the VIP Exec who gave them out dropped mine! *shakes head* Good thing it didn't get damaged) and some Marks & Spencer vouchers, and tea and cakes were laid on for after. I decide to risk getting something from the refreshment table, but right behind me is my supervisor and our Operations manager, who start in on comments like "Oh here we go - remember, you can only have one cake!"
*sighs*
It's mostly meant in fun, but seriously, how the hell did I get such a reputation? I know I used to get pretty impatient for the trolley to turn up, but that was my breakfast most mornings. And my blood sugar levels were often dropping by mid-afternoon so a snack from the second run-through was always welcome. Plus, it's not like I was constantly raiding the snacks in the incentives cupboard.
And today the same Operations Manager managed to make a fool of himself when he came by to ask how I'd spent the M&S vouchers (he's friendly-nosy like that, not rude-nosy) and said he was surprised I hadn't used them to buy outfits for my online stuff. I questioned what he was on about, and he admitted that he thought my online role-playing was, essentially, CosPlay with webcams! I had to laugh as I explained it's basically creative writing, and he did seem suitably embarrassed, but honestly!
We're not supposed to keep our heads down and not interact with the rest of the team, but if they're gonna get such weird impressions of me? I think I will.
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I don't understand why people need to be mean like that, don't they listen to what they are saying? How could they think comments like that should be said to anyone?
My next question, of course, is how much do you like the job? Is it time to move on? (that's just me being a wuss and trying to leave when I don't feel comfortable anymore.)
I wish I had better advice, as I don't, I'll just send hugs.
*hugs*
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Oh the CosPlay thing wasn't meant to offend me, but it did kinda take me aback in the same way as being called weird. I don't mind so much my friends calling me weird, even those who only know me in a virtual setting - I'm a strong believer that 'normal' is a dryer setting ;-)
The office culture is one of snark and banter - the more popular you are, the more abusive the comments in your birthday cards. But I honestly don't understand why I have a reputation as a gannet.
I'll be honest, I hate the job. It bores me to tears. It's a good company to work for, as there are some good perks, and they've let me dictate my own working hours to fit around Rowan - this makes it hard to look elsewhere, 'cause I know I won't find any other job with such convenient shifts.
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I'm sure those people think they're just being funny, but it's hard to believe they can't understand how hurtful those kind of comments can be. *hugs*
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This particular woman at work though...maybe she didn't intend to offend me, but it did feel like she was calling me the bad kind of weird, if you know what I mean.
I fail to see how SFU is perverted though... :-/ What a strange woman.
And the slash-fic? Yeah, so not mentioning that at work...I take a risk reading the PG-13 stuff on ff.net at my desk in my tiny lunch break.
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The Ops manager genuinely didn't mean to offend when he was talking about the RPG - he just didn't understand what it was about, and had come to his own conclusions. The eating thing...*shakes head* I guess I just must be too much of a pig for my own good.
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*still thwacks your coworkers*
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No-one at work, wherever I've been, has ever known anything about me and fandom, and they never will.
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I didn't exactly keep quiet at the time, 'cause I had a brief rant at Suzi about it, and she was quite sympathetic. But it still hurt.
I don't tell them much about fandom - they only really know about the Batman & Robin thing, and that's more than their tiny minds can take in... I think I may have earned a tad more street-cred by explaining that it's creative writing, though.
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Sounds like the best thing you can do is keep your head down, do your work and interact when you need to, but pretty much draw the line there. Anything else is really none of their business.
*pets you*
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This is pretty much what I'm thinking - though if I do keep too much to myself, it'll be interpreted by management as unwillingness to be part of the team :-p
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*hugs*
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Yeah, the comments are out of line, but what I want to know is where they come from. You know I like my food, and I'm happy to be munching away, but I didn't think I was that bad.
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