gothams3rdrobin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gothams3rdrobin) wrote2006-10-20 07:14 pm
gothams3rdrobin) wrote2006-10-20 07:14 pm
Entry tags:
OMG - she's posting fic...
This is another Sports Night fic that I worked on during bus journeys to and from work. It's been a while since I wrote it, with other stuff getting in the way.
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catwalksalone very kindly betaed for me, and made some good suggestions as well as gave some lovely feedback that made me smile. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own!
Dan was staring impatiently at his computer screen when Natalie popped her head around the office door.
“Did you get a reply?” she demanded, wide-eyed with excitement.
“Damn thing’s still loading.” He grumbled.
“What’s going on?” Casey asked, looking up from a printout of the day’s scheduled games.
“Dan has a pen-pal with a crush on him.” Natalie grinned, “Isn’t that cute?”
Casey frowned. “One of our fans? Should you be encouraging that, Danny?”
Dan gave him a slightly embarrassed smile, “I’m kind of enjoying it, actually. We’ve emailed back and forth for several months now and we seem to be getting on really well.”
“What’s her name?”
Dan’s expression tightened almost imperceptibly, “I don’t know.” he admitted, “I do know she lives in New York – but that’s all.”
“But she could be anyone,” Casey pressed. “She could even be a he.”
Dan chewed on his lip. “Would that bother you?”
Casey blinked, “Um, no. But the more important question is would it bother you?”
“Not really,” Dan shrugged, “I’m an open-minded guy.”
“So?” Natalie demanded, bouncing up and down on her toes. “Did she write back?”
Dan checked the computer and grinned, “Yes.”
“Can I read it?”
“No.” Dan closed the laptop with a determined expression. Casey chuckled quietly as Natalie scowled and left the office, grumbling about people keeping secrets.
“If you’re going to tell her about a secret admirer, you really should be willing to share all the details.” he admonished playfully.
Dan flashed a grin back, “I know. Not my wisest move. But I couldn’t share these with her, they’re too private.”
Casey raised an eyebrow, “You’re flirting back, aren’t you!”
Dan blushed a little. “The thing is, Casey … there’s something else I didn’t tell Natalie.”
“What?”
“You hit the nail on the head just now. This girl I’m flirting with … well, she’s really a guy.”
Casey blinked, “We talking trans-gender here?”
Dan stared at him in surprise, as though that hadn’t occurred to him, then laughed. “No, it’s nothing like that. I just let Natalie think it’s a woman.”
“Since when do you chat up guys, Danny?” Casey kept his voice carefully neutral.
Dan sighed, looking very uncomfortable, “I kinda always have. Just … not often. I haven’t for a long time now, but there’s something about this guy.” He shrugged helplessly, “I can’t explain it, Casey.”
Casey held his hands up in placation, “Alright. Just so long as no-one gets hurt.”
Dan smiled, “I’ll be careful, Mom.”
“I take it it’s a good message?” Casey smirked, and Dan realised he was grinning like a fool.
“He says you need to lay off the hair gel.”
Casey rolled his eyes. “That’s what I keep telling them, but do they listen? Our fans obviously think I look that bad normally.”
“You actually look worse.” Dan ducked the pen that came flying at his head.
Dan mulled K’s email over in his mind for the rest of the day, till it was time for his appointment with Abby.
“Okay, so I actually have something I need to talk to you about,” he said, settling himself on the couch and reaching for a handful of candies.
Abby blinked. “You mean I don’t have to spend half the session trying to coax you into a conversation with me?”
“Not this time.” Dan grinned.
“Okay, shoot.”
“Am I too hard on myself?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“What I mean is - do I believe people still think badly of me long after I’m forgiven for whatever I did?”
“What do you think the answer is?”
Dan scowled at her, “Can’t you tell me?”
“Would you believe me?” Abby challenged, tapping her pen on her note pad.
“Yes!”
She shook her head. “You’d believe me for a little while, but then you’d start doubting yourself again. Do you think you’re that hard on yourself?”
Dan sighed. “Probably.”
“What prompted this?”
“I’ve … been talking to someone over e-mail. We’ve gotten quite friendly and I told him a little about the problems I had around Draft Day last year. He suggested perhaps Casey forgave me a long time ago, and any residual weirdness is entirely on my part. He said I should accept that he’s forgiven me and move on.”
“Does that make any sense to you?”
Dan nodded, “If I really think about it, Casey’s acting pretty much the way he always did before. Though he does now have this tendency to treat me with kid gloves if he thinks something’s going to upset me.”
“I imagine he doesn’t want to see you sad again.”
“Yeah, probably. I’ve been thinking about this all day – I think I read negative things into what he says and does, but they’re not really there.”
“Do you do this with anyone else?”
“With the possible exception of my parents? No.”
“That suggests you value Casey’s good opinion more than you do anyone else’s, and you can’t accept you haven’t lost it.”
“I humiliated him on the air, Abby. And I was unbearable for weeks before that. I don’t deserve to still have him around!”
“Maybe Casey doesn’t see it that way. Did he have to stick around after the show was rescued?”
Dan shook his head, no.
“Think about that, okay? Now, tell me about your pen-pal. He seems to be a good influence.”
Dan smiled softly, “He’s a long time fan of the show, who managed to work out my e-mail address. Said he tried several variations before he got to one that didn’t bounce back.”
“And you answered?”
“Sure. He seemed nice. Knew what he was talking about.”
“Did he tell you how cute you are?”
“Why, Abby! I thought you weren’t allowed to hit on me.”
She threw a paper-wad at his head, grinning. “I meant your pen-pal. Stop evading.”
Dan coloured a little, “Yeah … he did.”
“Dan …”
“I know, I know! He could be some psycho stalker for all I know. But he seemed genuine, and it was harmless at first.”
“At first?”
“We’ve not progressed to cyber-sex, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Dan smirked. “He’s just come to mean a great deal to me.”
“More than Casey?”
Dan shifted uncomfortably, “It’s different.”
“Why is it different?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Dan…”
“Abby.” Dan stared back at her obstinately, his arms folded across his chest.
Abby sighed. “Fine.Then I’ll talk about it. This is different because you consider Casey to be unobtainable.” She held up her hand to halt Dan’s protest, which they both knew was token at best,
“Whereas this guy appears to be much more receptive to you. So you’re developing an emotional attachment to a stranger, which is not a good idea.”
“We all start as strangers, Abby. There are people who met online, who fell in love before they ever actually met up, and are still very much in love years later.” Dan couldn’t resist the sarcasm in his tone.
“There are also people who can only connect through the safety of a computer,” Abby pointed out.
“You think I’m one of them?”
“It’s a lot of pressure to maintain the charm in a relationship, Dan. Would you say you’re yourself when writing to this man, or are you in ‘show mode’?”
Dan chewed his lip.
“Think it over. Time’s up.”
Dan continued to be lost in thought when he got back to the office. Casey looked up at him, his hands stilling on the keyboard.
“I get the feeling it didn’t go so well today?” he ventured. Dan flopped down onto the couch opposite.
“You remember when I tried not to flirt with people around here?”
“Yeah, you had a hard time dealing with anyone. Abby got you doing that again?”
“She thinks I’m putting on an act for K.”
“K?”
“They guy I talk to on e-mail. He signs off like that.”
“Ah, so his name could be Ken.”
“Or Kevin.”
“Or Keith – you could be exchanging letters with one of the Rolling Stones!”
Dan chuckled. “Thanks, I needed that.”
“Any time, my young friend. But seriously, do you think that’s what you’re doing?”
“Not really, no. Or at least I’m not conscious of it. To be honest, it’s a little like talking to you.”
Casey blinked in surprise. “In what sense?” he asked carefully.
Dan shrugged. “In the sense that I feel I can tell you both pretty much anything and I won’t get judged. Like when I explained to you that sometimes I just can’t be the life and soul of a group.”
Casey nodded. “I remember. You were pretty low at the time.”
“That’s an understatement,” Dan snorted. “But you understood. You led me to the table, sat me down and held up most of my end of the conversation. The others even bought your lame excuse that I was tired.”
“They care about you too, Danny. They like your company and you don’t have to be Mr Funny Guy twenty-four-seven.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that.”
“Finally!” Casey joked, his tongue poking out slightly between his teeth as he grinned. The sight of it made Dan’s heart stutter for a moment.
“Anyway,” he said, quickly composing himself, “it feels like that when I talk to K as well.”
“I’m glad, Dan.” Casey smiled, but Dan thought his expression was strangely wistful. He then turned back to the computer and began typing, the conversation apparently over. Dan stared at him for a few more moments, a strange knot in his chest, before he too got back to writing his script.
Dan blinked at the screen in shock. Casey eyed him with concern.
“What?” he asked.
“K just said I’m sexy.” Dan blinked some more, then a grin spread across his face. Casey gave a small chuckle.
“I guess that means we won’t get any work out of you for the rest of the day.”
Dan laughed, making an effort to return to his script. He completely missed the sad expression Casey couldn’t quite hold back.
While the show went smoothly, Dan was very restless during the c-breaks. He kept pestering Casey for advice about how to handle the situation with K, ignoring his growing irritation on the subject.
“Look,” Casey snapped as soon as he threw to Kelly Kirkpatrick, before Dan could even open his mouth, “she’s told you several times it’s a Bad Idea, right? Didn’t you say she’d even listed some very good reasons?”
“Yeah, she did.” Dan sighed, not a little frustrated at having to refer to K in the feminine for the last half an hour. But they were miked, so he had to be careful.
“Have you considered the possibility she’s married?” Dana asked from the Control Room, proving why discretion was vital.
Dan paled. “I’m pretty sure she isn’t, Dana.”
“But have you asked?”
“They don’t share personal information.” Casey came to Dan’s rescue, seeing him a little flustered.
“There must be something wrong then,” Dana snorted. “Why else would she refuse to meet Dan if she’s such a big fan?”
“Because reality rarely lives up to one’s expectations?” suggested Jeremy.
“How do you mean?” asked Natalie
“Well, since Dan’s only contact with this woman has been over e-mail, he has certain preconceived ideas of the kind of person she is. These things often prove inaccurate when face to face with the real person.
Dan frowned. “So while I think she’s an intelligent, sexy person who’s fun to talk to …”
“She could be a very unsexy, boring person in real life.
Dan shook his head. “Not possible.”
“It’s entirely possible,” Casey argued. At Dan’s determined expression, he rolled his eyes. “Natalie, how much time do I have?”
“Kelly has another thirty seconds, and then Dan’s got three minutes before a two minute c-break.”
“I’m stretching my legs.” And he was gone before Dan could say another word.
When the show finished, Dan made a beeline for their office to check his e-mail again. He grinned when he saw a message waiting for him.
“Hey, Danny! You want to get a drink?” Casey leaned his head through the doorway.
“No, I need to get home. K wants to talk to me.”
The rest of Casey’s body followed his head into the office and closed the door, “You mean on the phone?”
“No. Over Instant Messenger.”
Casey frowned. “What’s that?”
“It’s a program that lets people chat to each other online, one on one. You saw ‘You’ve Got Mail’, didn’t you?”
Casey grimaced, “Danny, it’s a chick flick!”
Dan rolled his eyes. “Anyway, he’s going to be online tonight. Can I take a rain check till tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Casey nodded. He didn’t look very happy, but he was gone before Dan could say anything.
It seemed to take forever to get home, and even longer for Dan’s computer to load up. When it eventually did, he called up the chat software and signed in. Heart pounding, he added K’s screen name to his ‘Buddy List’ and almost jumped out of his chair when the program registered the user as online. His hands shook as he moved the mouse to click on the name, and typed “Hey” into the window that popped up.
K’s response was almost instantaneous:
SNFanK: Hey! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.
BaltimoreDan: Of course! It’s good to finally ‘speak’ to you.
SNFanK: Yeah, same here. How’re you doing? It’s not too late for you, is it?
BaltimoreDan: Nah, this is a little like evening for me. It can be hard to settle down after the show. I normally crash around two o’clock, sometimes three.
SNFanK: That’s cool. I won’t keep you up too late then!
Dan chuckled.
BaltimoreDan: K, you can keep me up as long as you like.
There was a delay in the response and Dan could picture the other person staring at the screen, trying to figure a response. Just as he was about to write something else, the software gave the response chime.
SNFanK: That’s good to know.
Dan sighed in relief.
BaltimoreDan: Listen, I think you know I really like you. Otherwise I wouldn’t keep saying I want to meet you.
SNFanK: I know. But it’s a bad idea. If the press found out I was more than just your friend they would have a field day.
BaltimoreDan: So what?
SNFanK: So what? Are you mental? It could ruin your career. Sports anchors are not supposed to be gay.
Dan sighed, knowing he had a point.
BaltimoreDan: I know that. Casey’s been telling me that too. I think I’ve been getting on his nerves today.
SNFanK: That’s why he was looking a little stressed out tonight?
BaltimoreDan: Yeah. My fault as usual.
SNFanK: I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’s probably worried about you – I know I would be.
Dan couldn’t help but smile.
BaltimoreDan: Thanks. It’s nice to know people care about me.
SNFanK: You know I do.
BaltimoreDan: I care about you too.
SNFanK: Which is insane considering I’m only words on a screen to you.
BaltimoreDan: Then let’s do something about that. I am allowed to spend social time with male friends without the gossip starting, you know.
SNFanK: No, we can’t.
BalitmoreDan: Why not?
There was another long pause and this time Dan had to break the silence.
BaltimoreDan: K?
SNFanK: Because I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. That’s why not.
Dan’s heart skipped a beat and the room seemed to get warmer. He groaned to himself.
BaltimoreDan: Oh man, K. You’re about killing me here.
SNFanK: Then I’d better go. I didn’t intend to get into anything hot and heavy tonight.
BaltimoreDan: No! Don’t go! I’m sorry, I’ll calm down in a minute.
SNFanK: I really do have to go. It’s late.
He signed off before Dan could type anything else. Dan stared at the monitor for a long time, unable to move.
When Casey arrived at the office the next morning, Dan was already there.
“Hey, how did the chat last night go?” Casey asked, shutting the door behind him. Dan sighed, his expression miserable. “Not good, huh?”
“No.” Dan mumbled.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Okay.” Casey shrugged and started booting up the desktop computer. Dan continued to stare at the laptop for a long moment before he jumped up and began pacing. Casey watched him expectantly.
“The thing is, Casey, I think I’m scaring him away.”
“Because you want to meet him?”
“Because I want so badly to meet him!”
Casey sighed, “Why?”
“Why what?”
"Why do you want to meet him? He’s nothing more than words on a screen.”
Dan leaned on the desk to face Casey up close. “He’s much more than that to me. I can’t explain it.”
“Try.”
“You working for Abby now?”
“Dan.” Casey looked at him seriously. Dan threw up his hands in surrender.
“Fine! This is someone who gets me, Casey. We share a lot in common, with enough differences to keep it interesting. He doesn’t judge me, and he voices his opinions without expecting me to share them. I feel comfortable with him – almost safe.” He flopped down onto the sofa, “If I can feel all that from just a couple of months' worth of e-mails, how great would it be to have him around for real?”
Casey sighed. “I’m sorry Danny.”
“For what?” Dan frowned in puzzlement.
“That it isn’t working out the way you hoped. Maybe this is as much as he can handle right now.”
Dan leaned forward, his head in his hands. “He shouldn’t have told me he’s a New Yorker. Anyone so much as smiles at me on the street, I wonder if that’s him. Why won’t he meet me, Casey?”
“Perhaps he’s afraid. You heard what Jeremy said about reality not meeting up to expectation.”
Dan sighed. “Lets get to work,” he said glumly. Casey nodded.
“I really am sorry, Danny,” he murmured.
“I know, Casey. And thanks.”
By that night, Dan was nearly frantic. “Not a single email, Casey!” he complained.
“Maybe he’s busy,” came the non-committal response.
“Or maybe he’s given up on me. I was too demanding …”
Casey sighed and dragged Dan over to the sofa. Hauling him down next to him, he wrapped an arm around Dan’s shoulders in a hug. Dan leaned into it gratefully, pulling away with obvious reluctance after a minute or so.
“You’ve really fallen for this guy, haven’t you,” Casey gently rubbed Dan’s back in comfort. “I haven’t seen you like this since Rebecca.”
Dan exhaled shakily. “It’s insane, Casey. I don’t even know what he looks like, but I don’t think I could be without him any more than I could take losing you.”
Before Casey could respond, Natalie came sailing in. She took one look at them and frowned. “What’s up?”
“Natalie, the door was shut!” Casey growled a warning.
She blinked. “Like that ever stops me? Are you okay, Dan? Did you fight with your pen-pal?”
“Sort of,” Dan sighed. “I think I frightened her away.”
“She’d have to be insane not to want to meet you.” Natalie smiled at him encouragingly.
“But what if there’s a perfectly good reason?” Casey ventured, cautiously.
“Like what?” chorused Natalie and Dan.
“Maybe she’s someone Dan already knows, and she’s afraid to let him know face to face.”
“That’s crazy!” Natalie rolled her eyes, but Dan looked thoughtful.
“It seems ridiculous, but then nothing about this makes sense to me anymore.”
“What did you need, Natalie?” Casey asked, wanting to get rid of her as soon as he could.
“Just to check if you knew about the change in the forties, and to remind you the rundown’s in twenty. So it needs to be fixed by then.”
Casey nodded. “Yeah, we’re on it. We’ll see you at rundown.”
Natalie flicked her gaze from one to the other, but took the hint and left, shutting the door behind her.
“I’m sorry Casey. I’m being foolish about this,” Dan sighed, “You really think it might be someone I already know?”
Casey shrugged, “It’s possible. Maybe he’s too worried about how you’d react if he told you to your face.”
Dan tapped the arm of the sofa for a moment, before he visibly put the idea out of his head. “Let’s get some work done. We have the forties to adjust, right?”
Casey nodded, frowning a little. Dan squeezed his shoulder.
“Let me think about something else for a few minutes.”
The show that night wasn’t one of their best, but nothing actually went wrong. Dana merely shook her head in dismay when it was over.
“I hope you guys will be in a better mood tomorrow” was all she said. “Coming with us to Anthony’s?”
“I’m going to head home,” Casey replied. “I’m tired.”
“I might come out,” said Dan. “I just have a few things to finish up here first.”
“Alright, we’ll see you over there.”
Casey watched as Dana, Natalie and Jeremy filed out of the newsroom before he turned back to Dan, who was checking the computer.
“You going to be okay tonight?”
Dan shrugged. “Got no choice.”
Casey peered over his shoulder at the screen. “Still no e-mail?”
“Nope. I think I really have scared him off - he’s never gone this long without responding.”
Casey patted his shoulder, “Come back to mine. I’ve got beer, and I taped the Orioles' game.”
Taking one last look at his inbox, Dan sighed and nodded.
“Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.” Casey shrugged off his coat and headed for the bathroom.
Dan ambled into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He blinked in surprise to see not only a six pack of the weird foreign beer Casey seemed to like, but also several cans of Dan’s favourite brand too. On closer inspection of the fridge’s contents, he also spotted several kosher items.
“Since when does Casey eat kosher?” he wondered aloud, simultaneously amused and touched that Casey assumed he did.
On a hunch, Dan inspected Casey’s cupboards and found at least half of the food was stuff he liked – lots of it he knew Casey didn’t; Froot Loops, Dan’s favourite soda, Mallomars…
Frowning, he grabbed some beer from the fridge and went out into the lounge. Casey was finished in the bathroom by this time, so Dan handed him a beer and excused himself. He closed the door behind him and headed straight for the cabinet. Sure enough, there was a bottle of his Pantene alongside that expensive crap Casey favoured. There was also a second tooth brush, Dan’s preferred toothpaste; Dan was certain he hadn’t purchased these items himself, though he remembered using them just last week.
He paled as he realised he also had a drawer in Casey’s dresser, just in case he slept over and needed a change of clothes. Which he did at least once a week…
How much about his relationship with Casey did he just take for granted like this, without realising? And was this normal between friends? Surely not.
Dan wandered back out to the lounge in a daze.
“You okay , Danny?” Casey frowned in concern.
“When did I move in here, Casey?”
Casey looked at him like he was a pod person. “What?”
Dan ticked items off on his fingers, “You’ve got my favourite food and beer in the kitchen, my shampoo, toothpaste and a tooth brush in the bathroom, and I have a drawer of my own in your dresser. I’ll ask you again; when did I move in, Casey?”
The other man shrugged, “You’re here so often it made sense. You left some almost-empty toiletries here a year or so ago and I’ve just automatically kept replacing them.”
“That’s not normal, Casey.”
“You want me to stop? You want to take your spare clothes home?” Casey looked hurt, and not a little worried.
Dan considered for a moment, “No.” he said, his tone a little surprised, “Actually, I quite like it.”
“Me too.” Casey murmured, keeping his eyes on the TV to avoid Dan’s gaze.
Dan frowned, there was a voice nagging in his head, but he was too tired to think. He settled down to watch the game, but concentration was difficult.
When Dan woke up the next morning, he found himself sprawled out on the sofa. There was a weight on his hip, and when he looked he found Casey was using him for a pillow. It was hardly the first time this had happened and Dan felt a familiar warmth at the sight. He gently ran a hand over Casey’s soft hair, and Casey snuggled closer in response.
“Danny…” he sighed, sounding very content. Dan’s hand stilled in surprise.
“Casey.” He shook his friend gently. “Time to wake up, my friend.”
Casey lifted his head from Dan’s hip, blinking sleepily. Dan’s heart almost broke at how adorable he looked. Casey gave him a little smile, but moments later Dan could see his brain finally engage.
Casey’s eyes widened in shock as he took in their little tableau, and he sat up quickly,
“Oh man, Danny, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that!”
Dan shrugged, missing that sleepy, happy expression. “It’s okay. I barely noticed – slept fairly well, actually.” And that was surprisingly true, considering they’d both sacked out on a three-seater couch and both of them were pretty tall.
“You want some breakfast?” Casey rubbed his eyes, looking all of about twelve for a moment. Dan checked his watch.
“Nah, better not. I have just enough time for a shower before I have to go see Abby. I’ll grab something on the way.”
Casey nodded. “Go shower, then. I’ll make you some coffee at least.”
Maybe it was just the fact he wasn’t fully awake yet, but Casey’s words seemed so sweetly domestic that Dan had to resist the urge to kiss his cheek. He rose from the sofa quickly and escaped to the bathroom.
As the water cascaded over him, he thought about his situation. It all seemed so unfair that he was once again feeling drawn to Casey, when he thought he’d finally put all that behind him. It didn’t help matters that Casey himself was suddenly giving off signals that maybe he’d be open to more than just friendship.
‘Dammit, this would happen now,’ he thought, ‘just as I get interested in someone else!’
He sighed as he shut the water off, reaching for a towel. Once he was dry and dressed in clean clothes – deliberately leaving yesterday’s clothes in Casey’s laundry hamper the way he always did – he headed back into the kitchen where Casey handed him a mug of coffee. Dan accepted it gratefully. By the time he’d drained his cup he felt almost ready to face the day.
“What time will you be in to the studio?” Casey asked as he rinsed Dan’s mug.
“I’ll be there by noon rundown,” he promised.
“Good.” Casey nodded. “I’ll pull together some notes for you so you don’t get too behind.”
Dan grinned at him. “What would I do without you?”
“You’d work harder.” Casey smirked back.
Laughing, Dan shrugged his coat on, “I’ll see you at work.”
Casey nodded absentmindedly as he finished loading up his dishwasher. As he opened the front door to leave, Dan couldn’t help staring back over his shoulder for a long moment, once again struck by the comfortable domesticity of it all.
“You seem restless this morning, Dan,” Abby noted wryly, watching him pace back and forth in front of her desk. Dan sighed and forced himself to sit on the sofa, but a second later he was up and moving again.
“I think I scared K off.” He said, finally.
“Your internet pen-pal?”
“Yeah. We talked briefly over Instant Messenger and I got a little too needy so he signed off. I didn’t get a single email from him yesterday.”
“That worries you?”
“Yeah! I was enjoying his company, virtual though it was. I really think we could have gotten very close.”
“But he still refuses to meet with you.”
“Exactly. But I think I have another problem.”
“Which is?”
Dan sighed, “I don’t think I’m over Casey after all.”
Abby grimaced in sympathy. “Do you think you have any chance with Casey?”
Dan stopped pacing and sat down. “Yesterday I’d have said no.”
“But today?”
“I’m not so sure.” Dan described for Abby all the things he’d discovered at Casey’s apartment, as well as what had happened when he woke up.
“Sounds to me like he’s more available than you thought.” Abby smiled.
“But if he is, and we make a go of it, I’ll always wonder about K.” Dan stood up decisively. “I’m going to have to insist on meeting him. Then I’ll know one way or the other.”
Abby looked doubtful. “You can’t force him to meet you.”
Dan shrugged. “If he doesn’t show, it wasn’t meant to be.”
Dan sat at a table in the corner of the bar, listening to the Jazz band and watching the door intently. It was one a.m., and he was about ready to give up and go home.
Then the door opened and a familiar face entered.
“Casey?” he whispered, his mind racing. This couldn’t possibly be a co-incidence…could it?.
Casey scanned the room before he spotted Dan. He headed in his direction, looking decidedly nervous.
“Casey, what are you doing here?”
His friend swallowed a little, “You … invited me.”
“I invited you?” Dan’s mouth hung open in shock, “You’re K? As in ‘K’ for Casey?”
Casey nodded, staring at his hands guiltily.
“But why, Casey?”
“I didn’t mean all this to happen.” Casey explained sadly, “I just wanted to be able to tell you how I felt, since I’m too much of a coward to say it to your face.”
Dan stared at him, a lot of things suddenly making sense; how comfortable the conversations had been – he’d said himself it was like taking to Casey; Casey’s heartfelt “I’m sorry” when he’d been freaking out over K’s silence. Then he laughed.
“You have seen ‘You’ve Got Mail’!” he accused, grinning.
Casey smiled back sheepishly, “I caught it on TV one weekend,” he admitted. Then he looked at Dan apprehensively, “What happens now? Can you forgive me for deceiving you? You said in your e-mail there was the possibility of someone else?”
“Yeah, and I lifted that from the movie.” Dan chuckled. “Meg Ryan gets the easiest break-ups!”
Casey offered the ghost of a smile. “Danny?” He pressed for an answer.
Dan thought for a long moment. He should be mad at Casey, but then again he’d admitted he had feelings for him. And frankly, that just rocked Dan’s world.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Casey.” He smiled reassuringly
“And this someone else? Was that true?” Casey asked, eyes full of fear. Dan nodded and Casey squeezed his eyes shut, as if in pain.
“Okay. Well, at least you know now.” He rose to leave, but Dan grabbed his wrist.
“Woah, woah! Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home.”
Dan stood up and released Casey’s wrist, freeing his hand to briefly caress his friend’s arm. “Can I come too?”
Casey stared at him and Dan could see realisation dawn. A beatific smile spread across his face.
“You mean it?”
“Hell yeah,” Dan breathed,
Casey squeezed his arm, his eyes telling Dan he intended to do more once they were alone.
catwalksalone very kindly betaed for me, and made some good suggestions as well as gave some lovely feedback that made me smile. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own!Dan was staring impatiently at his computer screen when Natalie popped her head around the office door.
“Did you get a reply?” she demanded, wide-eyed with excitement.
“Damn thing’s still loading.” He grumbled.
“What’s going on?” Casey asked, looking up from a printout of the day’s scheduled games.
“Dan has a pen-pal with a crush on him.” Natalie grinned, “Isn’t that cute?”
Casey frowned. “One of our fans? Should you be encouraging that, Danny?”
Dan gave him a slightly embarrassed smile, “I’m kind of enjoying it, actually. We’ve emailed back and forth for several months now and we seem to be getting on really well.”
“What’s her name?”
Dan’s expression tightened almost imperceptibly, “I don’t know.” he admitted, “I do know she lives in New York – but that’s all.”
“But she could be anyone,” Casey pressed. “She could even be a he.”
Dan chewed on his lip. “Would that bother you?”
Casey blinked, “Um, no. But the more important question is would it bother you?”
“Not really,” Dan shrugged, “I’m an open-minded guy.”
“So?” Natalie demanded, bouncing up and down on her toes. “Did she write back?”
Dan checked the computer and grinned, “Yes.”
“Can I read it?”
“No.” Dan closed the laptop with a determined expression. Casey chuckled quietly as Natalie scowled and left the office, grumbling about people keeping secrets.
“If you’re going to tell her about a secret admirer, you really should be willing to share all the details.” he admonished playfully.
Dan flashed a grin back, “I know. Not my wisest move. But I couldn’t share these with her, they’re too private.”
Casey raised an eyebrow, “You’re flirting back, aren’t you!”
Dan blushed a little. “The thing is, Casey … there’s something else I didn’t tell Natalie.”
“What?”
“You hit the nail on the head just now. This girl I’m flirting with … well, she’s really a guy.”
Casey blinked, “We talking trans-gender here?”
Dan stared at him in surprise, as though that hadn’t occurred to him, then laughed. “No, it’s nothing like that. I just let Natalie think it’s a woman.”
“Since when do you chat up guys, Danny?” Casey kept his voice carefully neutral.
Dan sighed, looking very uncomfortable, “I kinda always have. Just … not often. I haven’t for a long time now, but there’s something about this guy.” He shrugged helplessly, “I can’t explain it, Casey.”
Casey held his hands up in placation, “Alright. Just so long as no-one gets hurt.”
Dan smiled, “I’ll be careful, Mom.”
To: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
From: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
I turned on my computer this morning and thought to myself “My God – I’m living a chick-flick!” You know the one, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I’d jumped out of bed and turned on the computer before I’d even had my first cup of coffee. What is up with that?
Anyway, you looked good last night. I didn’t get home until after the show was finished, but I watched the re-run at one o’clock. It’s at times like this I’m glad for all the constant repeats on cable.
You might want to tell Casey to lay off the hair gel, though. Looking a bit stiff there.
Thinking of you,
K
“I take it it’s a good message?” Casey smirked, and Dan realised he was grinning like a fool.
“He says you need to lay off the hair gel.”
Casey rolled his eyes. “That’s what I keep telling them, but do they listen? Our fans obviously think I look that bad normally.”
“You actually look worse.” Dan ducked the pen that came flying at his head.
To: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
From: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
You might be amused to know Casey totally agrees with you on the hair gel. I think he quite appreciates the support.
Hope you don’t mind I told him about you. He and I have been best friends for over ten years and I keep very few secrets from him.
I’m glad you watched the re-run, since you couldn’t catch us live. It’s kind of a buzz knowing you’re watching. But hey – I expect honest reviews, right? No ingratiating yourself. If I did badly, I want to know.
To: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
From: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
No problem! Give me the e-mail address for viewer feedback (as opposed to basic fan-mail) and I will write in to suggest they rethink the hair gel thing.
I don’t mind you telling your closest friend about me – feels quite nice actually, to know I mean enough to you already.
I promise I’ll keep any reviews honest. You deserve people telling you the truth, not mindless sycophants. Just don’t expect notes on every single show. Deal?
To: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
From: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
Dude, you have a deal! Though I do have to admit your simple “You looked good” made me feel on top of the world.
It’s insane - I don’t even know your name and one word from you can lift my spirits. I wonder what my therapist would make of this.
I hope that doesn’t bother you – that I’m in therapy. I have various long term issues she’s helping me deal with. I think we’re on the ‘it gets worse before it gets better’ approach to therapy though, since my worst moments in recent years came after I started seeing her professionally. You remember when the station went up for sale, right? Those months were the worst I’ve had in a long time, and Casey and I are still finding our way back to where we were, even now.
But, hey! Enough of how messed up I am! I’m tempted to call foul that I know nothing about you, yet I am an open book. We may have to balance that out eventually.
To: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
From: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
No way, dude. The less you know about me, the harder it is for the media vultures to find out and use me against you. You’ve said yourself how risky it is to be openly gay when you’re in the public eye – especially in sports. I don’t want whatever this is between us to damage your career.
And about the therapy? It seems to me everyone has one issue or another, and it’s great you’re getting help. That takes courage. I am surprised you were already in therapy when that stuff happened – I was watching and it nearly broke my heart. But y’know…if you and Casey have been so close for so long there’s probably less repair work to do than you might think. I don’t want to presume, or give advice out of turn, but did it occur to you that Casey might be completely fine with you by now? That the one with the problem is you? Maybe you need to accept that he’s forgiven you and let it go.
Man, that was deep! Sorry if I overstepped my bounds there – I promise I’ll try and avoid a reoccurrence.
Dan mulled K’s email over in his mind for the rest of the day, till it was time for his appointment with Abby.
“Okay, so I actually have something I need to talk to you about,” he said, settling himself on the couch and reaching for a handful of candies.
Abby blinked. “You mean I don’t have to spend half the session trying to coax you into a conversation with me?”
“Not this time.” Dan grinned.
“Okay, shoot.”
“Am I too hard on myself?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“What I mean is - do I believe people still think badly of me long after I’m forgiven for whatever I did?”
“What do you think the answer is?”
Dan scowled at her, “Can’t you tell me?”
“Would you believe me?” Abby challenged, tapping her pen on her note pad.
“Yes!”
She shook her head. “You’d believe me for a little while, but then you’d start doubting yourself again. Do you think you’re that hard on yourself?”
Dan sighed. “Probably.”
“What prompted this?”
“I’ve … been talking to someone over e-mail. We’ve gotten quite friendly and I told him a little about the problems I had around Draft Day last year. He suggested perhaps Casey forgave me a long time ago, and any residual weirdness is entirely on my part. He said I should accept that he’s forgiven me and move on.”
“Does that make any sense to you?”
Dan nodded, “If I really think about it, Casey’s acting pretty much the way he always did before. Though he does now have this tendency to treat me with kid gloves if he thinks something’s going to upset me.”
“I imagine he doesn’t want to see you sad again.”
“Yeah, probably. I’ve been thinking about this all day – I think I read negative things into what he says and does, but they’re not really there.”
“Do you do this with anyone else?”
“With the possible exception of my parents? No.”
“That suggests you value Casey’s good opinion more than you do anyone else’s, and you can’t accept you haven’t lost it.”
“I humiliated him on the air, Abby. And I was unbearable for weeks before that. I don’t deserve to still have him around!”
“Maybe Casey doesn’t see it that way. Did he have to stick around after the show was rescued?”
Dan shook his head, no.
“Think about that, okay? Now, tell me about your pen-pal. He seems to be a good influence.”
Dan smiled softly, “He’s a long time fan of the show, who managed to work out my e-mail address. Said he tried several variations before he got to one that didn’t bounce back.”
“And you answered?”
“Sure. He seemed nice. Knew what he was talking about.”
“Did he tell you how cute you are?”
“Why, Abby! I thought you weren’t allowed to hit on me.”
She threw a paper-wad at his head, grinning. “I meant your pen-pal. Stop evading.”
Dan coloured a little, “Yeah … he did.”
“Dan …”
“I know, I know! He could be some psycho stalker for all I know. But he seemed genuine, and it was harmless at first.”
“At first?”
“We’ve not progressed to cyber-sex, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Dan smirked. “He’s just come to mean a great deal to me.”
“More than Casey?”
Dan shifted uncomfortably, “It’s different.”
“Why is it different?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Dan…”
“Abby.” Dan stared back at her obstinately, his arms folded across his chest.
Abby sighed. “Fine.Then I’ll talk about it. This is different because you consider Casey to be unobtainable.” She held up her hand to halt Dan’s protest, which they both knew was token at best,
“Whereas this guy appears to be much more receptive to you. So you’re developing an emotional attachment to a stranger, which is not a good idea.”
“We all start as strangers, Abby. There are people who met online, who fell in love before they ever actually met up, and are still very much in love years later.” Dan couldn’t resist the sarcasm in his tone.
“There are also people who can only connect through the safety of a computer,” Abby pointed out.
“You think I’m one of them?”
“It’s a lot of pressure to maintain the charm in a relationship, Dan. Would you say you’re yourself when writing to this man, or are you in ‘show mode’?”
Dan chewed his lip.
“Think it over. Time’s up.”
Dan continued to be lost in thought when he got back to the office. Casey looked up at him, his hands stilling on the keyboard.
“I get the feeling it didn’t go so well today?” he ventured. Dan flopped down onto the couch opposite.
“You remember when I tried not to flirt with people around here?”
“Yeah, you had a hard time dealing with anyone. Abby got you doing that again?”
“She thinks I’m putting on an act for K.”
“K?”
“They guy I talk to on e-mail. He signs off like that.”
“Ah, so his name could be Ken.”
“Or Kevin.”
“Or Keith – you could be exchanging letters with one of the Rolling Stones!”
Dan chuckled. “Thanks, I needed that.”
“Any time, my young friend. But seriously, do you think that’s what you’re doing?”
“Not really, no. Or at least I’m not conscious of it. To be honest, it’s a little like talking to you.”
Casey blinked in surprise. “In what sense?” he asked carefully.
Dan shrugged. “In the sense that I feel I can tell you both pretty much anything and I won’t get judged. Like when I explained to you that sometimes I just can’t be the life and soul of a group.”
Casey nodded. “I remember. You were pretty low at the time.”
“That’s an understatement,” Dan snorted. “But you understood. You led me to the table, sat me down and held up most of my end of the conversation. The others even bought your lame excuse that I was tired.”
“They care about you too, Danny. They like your company and you don’t have to be Mr Funny Guy twenty-four-seven.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that.”
“Finally!” Casey joked, his tongue poking out slightly between his teeth as he grinned. The sight of it made Dan’s heart stutter for a moment.
“Anyway,” he said, quickly composing himself, “it feels like that when I talk to K as well.”
“I’m glad, Dan.” Casey smiled, but Dan thought his expression was strangely wistful. He then turned back to the computer and began typing, the conversation apparently over. Dan stared at him for a few more moments, a strange knot in his chest, before he too got back to writing his script.
To: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
From: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
So I told my therapist about you today. No surprise that she expressed some concerns. She thinks I’m in ‘show mode’ when I talk to you, putting on an act to make you like me.
But don’t worry about it. I talked to Casey when I got back to the office and he helped me feel better.
Sometimes I think I should just talk to him – it would be a lot cheaper, that’s for sure! But then again, the double team of Abby and Casey seems to work best. She gets me to admit stuff I was refusing to think about, and Casey lets me vent until I get my head around it. So I guess I’m stuck with the status quo.
I’m pretty sure you’d like Casey if you met him. He’s not quite as smug as he comes across on the air – that’s just a side-effect of his on-air voice. It gets a lot richer when he’s reading the script.
Aww man, looks like Dana’s on the warpath about something. I better go see.
Talk to you soon!
Dan
To: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
From: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
You know, if it works then don’t change it. I’m sure your therapist is just doing her job and looking out for your best interests.
I hope you’re not in ‘show mode’ when writing to me – I certainly don’t get that impression. I’m not sure how I expected you be, but to be honest I didn’t think you’d actually respond to my e-mail anyway. Let’s face it, an e-mail from a male fan saying he thinks you’re cute? I think I would have hit delete and run screaming! But I’m glad you didn’t.
I’m sure Casey’s a great guy. He comes across as pretty likeable on the air and in the press – even if they do paint him as something of a dork in comparison to his very sexy partner.
Argh, I gotta go. Have a good show – I may have to catch it on the re-run tonight, but I will be watching!
Dan blinked at the screen in shock. Casey eyed him with concern.
“What?” he asked.
“K just said I’m sexy.” Dan blinked some more, then a grin spread across his face. Casey gave a small chuckle.
“I guess that means we won’t get any work out of you for the rest of the day.”
Dan laughed, making an effort to return to his script. He completely missed the sad expression Casey couldn’t quite hold back.
To: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
From d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
It’s all your fault! You officially broke me.
While that last e-mail was wonderful, it got me so flustered I couldn’t write for the rest of the day. I now have to go read a script three-quarters written by Casey. Thankfully, he knows me well enough you won’t know the difference.
I still say it’s not fair that you know so much about me and I know nothing about you, because now I can’t return the compliment! I certainly get a very good vibe from you, and I like thinking about you.
I wish I could meet you. It’s driving me crazy!
While the show went smoothly, Dan was very restless during the c-breaks. He kept pestering Casey for advice about how to handle the situation with K, ignoring his growing irritation on the subject.
“Look,” Casey snapped as soon as he threw to Kelly Kirkpatrick, before Dan could even open his mouth, “she’s told you several times it’s a Bad Idea, right? Didn’t you say she’d even listed some very good reasons?”
“Yeah, she did.” Dan sighed, not a little frustrated at having to refer to K in the feminine for the last half an hour. But they were miked, so he had to be careful.
“Have you considered the possibility she’s married?” Dana asked from the Control Room, proving why discretion was vital.
Dan paled. “I’m pretty sure she isn’t, Dana.”
“But have you asked?”
“They don’t share personal information.” Casey came to Dan’s rescue, seeing him a little flustered.
“There must be something wrong then,” Dana snorted. “Why else would she refuse to meet Dan if she’s such a big fan?”
“Because reality rarely lives up to one’s expectations?” suggested Jeremy.
“How do you mean?” asked Natalie
“Well, since Dan’s only contact with this woman has been over e-mail, he has certain preconceived ideas of the kind of person she is. These things often prove inaccurate when face to face with the real person.
Dan frowned. “So while I think she’s an intelligent, sexy person who’s fun to talk to …”
“She could be a very unsexy, boring person in real life.
Dan shook his head. “Not possible.”
“It’s entirely possible,” Casey argued. At Dan’s determined expression, he rolled his eyes. “Natalie, how much time do I have?”
“Kelly has another thirty seconds, and then Dan’s got three minutes before a two minute c-break.”
“I’m stretching my legs.” And he was gone before Dan could say another word.
When the show finished, Dan made a beeline for their office to check his e-mail again. He grinned when he saw a message waiting for him.
To: d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
From: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
Hey, Sexy! The show went well tonight – though Casey seemed a little stressed.
Listen, I’ve been thinking. I still don’t think it would be a good idea to meet up, but we do need to talk. And I mean really talk. I’ll be on IM for the next couple of hours, so send me a message when you get home.
“Hey, Danny! You want to get a drink?” Casey leaned his head through the doorway.
“No, I need to get home. K wants to talk to me.”
The rest of Casey’s body followed his head into the office and closed the door, “You mean on the phone?”
“No. Over Instant Messenger.”
Casey frowned. “What’s that?”
“It’s a program that lets people chat to each other online, one on one. You saw ‘You’ve Got Mail’, didn’t you?”
Casey grimaced, “Danny, it’s a chick flick!”
Dan rolled his eyes. “Anyway, he’s going to be online tonight. Can I take a rain check till tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Casey nodded. He didn’t look very happy, but he was gone before Dan could say anything.
It seemed to take forever to get home, and even longer for Dan’s computer to load up. When it eventually did, he called up the chat software and signed in. Heart pounding, he added K’s screen name to his ‘Buddy List’ and almost jumped out of his chair when the program registered the user as online. His hands shook as he moved the mouse to click on the name, and typed “Hey” into the window that popped up.
K’s response was almost instantaneous:
SNFanK: Hey! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.
BaltimoreDan: Of course! It’s good to finally ‘speak’ to you.
SNFanK: Yeah, same here. How’re you doing? It’s not too late for you, is it?
BaltimoreDan: Nah, this is a little like evening for me. It can be hard to settle down after the show. I normally crash around two o’clock, sometimes three.
SNFanK: That’s cool. I won’t keep you up too late then!
Dan chuckled.
BaltimoreDan: K, you can keep me up as long as you like.
There was a delay in the response and Dan could picture the other person staring at the screen, trying to figure a response. Just as he was about to write something else, the software gave the response chime.
SNFanK: That’s good to know.
Dan sighed in relief.
BaltimoreDan: Listen, I think you know I really like you. Otherwise I wouldn’t keep saying I want to meet you.
SNFanK: I know. But it’s a bad idea. If the press found out I was more than just your friend they would have a field day.
BaltimoreDan: So what?
SNFanK: So what? Are you mental? It could ruin your career. Sports anchors are not supposed to be gay.
Dan sighed, knowing he had a point.
BaltimoreDan: I know that. Casey’s been telling me that too. I think I’ve been getting on his nerves today.
SNFanK: That’s why he was looking a little stressed out tonight?
BaltimoreDan: Yeah. My fault as usual.
SNFanK: I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’s probably worried about you – I know I would be.
Dan couldn’t help but smile.
BaltimoreDan: Thanks. It’s nice to know people care about me.
SNFanK: You know I do.
BaltimoreDan: I care about you too.
SNFanK: Which is insane considering I’m only words on a screen to you.
BaltimoreDan: Then let’s do something about that. I am allowed to spend social time with male friends without the gossip starting, you know.
SNFanK: No, we can’t.
BalitmoreDan: Why not?
There was another long pause and this time Dan had to break the silence.
BaltimoreDan: K?
SNFanK: Because I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. That’s why not.
Dan’s heart skipped a beat and the room seemed to get warmer. He groaned to himself.
BaltimoreDan: Oh man, K. You’re about killing me here.
SNFanK: Then I’d better go. I didn’t intend to get into anything hot and heavy tonight.
BaltimoreDan: No! Don’t go! I’m sorry, I’ll calm down in a minute.
SNFanK: I really do have to go. It’s late.
He signed off before Dan could type anything else. Dan stared at the monitor for a long time, unable to move.
When Casey arrived at the office the next morning, Dan was already there.
“Hey, how did the chat last night go?” Casey asked, shutting the door behind him. Dan sighed, his expression miserable. “Not good, huh?”
“No.” Dan mumbled.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Okay.” Casey shrugged and started booting up the desktop computer. Dan continued to stare at the laptop for a long moment before he jumped up and began pacing. Casey watched him expectantly.
“The thing is, Casey, I think I’m scaring him away.”
“Because you want to meet him?”
“Because I want so badly to meet him!”
Casey sighed, “Why?”
“Why what?”
"Why do you want to meet him? He’s nothing more than words on a screen.”
Dan leaned on the desk to face Casey up close. “He’s much more than that to me. I can’t explain it.”
“Try.”
“You working for Abby now?”
“Dan.” Casey looked at him seriously. Dan threw up his hands in surrender.
“Fine! This is someone who gets me, Casey. We share a lot in common, with enough differences to keep it interesting. He doesn’t judge me, and he voices his opinions without expecting me to share them. I feel comfortable with him – almost safe.” He flopped down onto the sofa, “If I can feel all that from just a couple of months' worth of e-mails, how great would it be to have him around for real?”
Casey sighed. “I’m sorry Danny.”
“For what?” Dan frowned in puzzlement.
“That it isn’t working out the way you hoped. Maybe this is as much as he can handle right now.”
Dan leaned forward, his head in his hands. “He shouldn’t have told me he’s a New Yorker. Anyone so much as smiles at me on the street, I wonder if that’s him. Why won’t he meet me, Casey?”
“Perhaps he’s afraid. You heard what Jeremy said about reality not meeting up to expectation.”
Dan sighed. “Lets get to work,” he said glumly. Casey nodded.
“I really am sorry, Danny,” he murmured.
“I know, Casey. And thanks.”
By that night, Dan was nearly frantic. “Not a single email, Casey!” he complained.
“Maybe he’s busy,” came the non-committal response.
“Or maybe he’s given up on me. I was too demanding …”
Casey sighed and dragged Dan over to the sofa. Hauling him down next to him, he wrapped an arm around Dan’s shoulders in a hug. Dan leaned into it gratefully, pulling away with obvious reluctance after a minute or so.
“You’ve really fallen for this guy, haven’t you,” Casey gently rubbed Dan’s back in comfort. “I haven’t seen you like this since Rebecca.”
Dan exhaled shakily. “It’s insane, Casey. I don’t even know what he looks like, but I don’t think I could be without him any more than I could take losing you.”
Before Casey could respond, Natalie came sailing in. She took one look at them and frowned. “What’s up?”
“Natalie, the door was shut!” Casey growled a warning.
She blinked. “Like that ever stops me? Are you okay, Dan? Did you fight with your pen-pal?”
“Sort of,” Dan sighed. “I think I frightened her away.”
“She’d have to be insane not to want to meet you.” Natalie smiled at him encouragingly.
“But what if there’s a perfectly good reason?” Casey ventured, cautiously.
“Like what?” chorused Natalie and Dan.
“Maybe she’s someone Dan already knows, and she’s afraid to let him know face to face.”
“That’s crazy!” Natalie rolled her eyes, but Dan looked thoughtful.
“It seems ridiculous, but then nothing about this makes sense to me anymore.”
“What did you need, Natalie?” Casey asked, wanting to get rid of her as soon as he could.
“Just to check if you knew about the change in the forties, and to remind you the rundown’s in twenty. So it needs to be fixed by then.”
Casey nodded. “Yeah, we’re on it. We’ll see you at rundown.”
Natalie flicked her gaze from one to the other, but took the hint and left, shutting the door behind her.
“I’m sorry Casey. I’m being foolish about this,” Dan sighed, “You really think it might be someone I already know?”
Casey shrugged, “It’s possible. Maybe he’s too worried about how you’d react if he told you to your face.”
Dan tapped the arm of the sofa for a moment, before he visibly put the idea out of his head. “Let’s get some work done. We have the forties to adjust, right?”
Casey nodded, frowning a little. Dan squeezed his shoulder.
“Let me think about something else for a few minutes.”
The show that night wasn’t one of their best, but nothing actually went wrong. Dana merely shook her head in dismay when it was over.
“I hope you guys will be in a better mood tomorrow” was all she said. “Coming with us to Anthony’s?”
“I’m going to head home,” Casey replied. “I’m tired.”
“I might come out,” said Dan. “I just have a few things to finish up here first.”
“Alright, we’ll see you over there.”
Casey watched as Dana, Natalie and Jeremy filed out of the newsroom before he turned back to Dan, who was checking the computer.
“You going to be okay tonight?”
Dan shrugged. “Got no choice.”
Casey peered over his shoulder at the screen. “Still no e-mail?”
“Nope. I think I really have scared him off - he’s never gone this long without responding.”
Casey patted his shoulder, “Come back to mine. I’ve got beer, and I taped the Orioles' game.”
Taking one last look at his inbox, Dan sighed and nodded.
“Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.” Casey shrugged off his coat and headed for the bathroom.
Dan ambled into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He blinked in surprise to see not only a six pack of the weird foreign beer Casey seemed to like, but also several cans of Dan’s favourite brand too. On closer inspection of the fridge’s contents, he also spotted several kosher items.
“Since when does Casey eat kosher?” he wondered aloud, simultaneously amused and touched that Casey assumed he did.
On a hunch, Dan inspected Casey’s cupboards and found at least half of the food was stuff he liked – lots of it he knew Casey didn’t; Froot Loops, Dan’s favourite soda, Mallomars…
Frowning, he grabbed some beer from the fridge and went out into the lounge. Casey was finished in the bathroom by this time, so Dan handed him a beer and excused himself. He closed the door behind him and headed straight for the cabinet. Sure enough, there was a bottle of his Pantene alongside that expensive crap Casey favoured. There was also a second tooth brush, Dan’s preferred toothpaste; Dan was certain he hadn’t purchased these items himself, though he remembered using them just last week.
He paled as he realised he also had a drawer in Casey’s dresser, just in case he slept over and needed a change of clothes. Which he did at least once a week…
How much about his relationship with Casey did he just take for granted like this, without realising? And was this normal between friends? Surely not.
Dan wandered back out to the lounge in a daze.
“You okay , Danny?” Casey frowned in concern.
“When did I move in here, Casey?”
Casey looked at him like he was a pod person. “What?”
Dan ticked items off on his fingers, “You’ve got my favourite food and beer in the kitchen, my shampoo, toothpaste and a tooth brush in the bathroom, and I have a drawer of my own in your dresser. I’ll ask you again; when did I move in, Casey?”
The other man shrugged, “You’re here so often it made sense. You left some almost-empty toiletries here a year or so ago and I’ve just automatically kept replacing them.”
“That’s not normal, Casey.”
“You want me to stop? You want to take your spare clothes home?” Casey looked hurt, and not a little worried.
Dan considered for a moment, “No.” he said, his tone a little surprised, “Actually, I quite like it.”
“Me too.” Casey murmured, keeping his eyes on the TV to avoid Dan’s gaze.
Dan frowned, there was a voice nagging in his head, but he was too tired to think. He settled down to watch the game, but concentration was difficult.
When Dan woke up the next morning, he found himself sprawled out on the sofa. There was a weight on his hip, and when he looked he found Casey was using him for a pillow. It was hardly the first time this had happened and Dan felt a familiar warmth at the sight. He gently ran a hand over Casey’s soft hair, and Casey snuggled closer in response.
“Danny…” he sighed, sounding very content. Dan’s hand stilled in surprise.
“Casey.” He shook his friend gently. “Time to wake up, my friend.”
Casey lifted his head from Dan’s hip, blinking sleepily. Dan’s heart almost broke at how adorable he looked. Casey gave him a little smile, but moments later Dan could see his brain finally engage.
Casey’s eyes widened in shock as he took in their little tableau, and he sat up quickly,
“Oh man, Danny, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that!”
Dan shrugged, missing that sleepy, happy expression. “It’s okay. I barely noticed – slept fairly well, actually.” And that was surprisingly true, considering they’d both sacked out on a three-seater couch and both of them were pretty tall.
“You want some breakfast?” Casey rubbed his eyes, looking all of about twelve for a moment. Dan checked his watch.
“Nah, better not. I have just enough time for a shower before I have to go see Abby. I’ll grab something on the way.”
Casey nodded. “Go shower, then. I’ll make you some coffee at least.”
Maybe it was just the fact he wasn’t fully awake yet, but Casey’s words seemed so sweetly domestic that Dan had to resist the urge to kiss his cheek. He rose from the sofa quickly and escaped to the bathroom.
As the water cascaded over him, he thought about his situation. It all seemed so unfair that he was once again feeling drawn to Casey, when he thought he’d finally put all that behind him. It didn’t help matters that Casey himself was suddenly giving off signals that maybe he’d be open to more than just friendship.
‘Dammit, this would happen now,’ he thought, ‘just as I get interested in someone else!’
He sighed as he shut the water off, reaching for a towel. Once he was dry and dressed in clean clothes – deliberately leaving yesterday’s clothes in Casey’s laundry hamper the way he always did – he headed back into the kitchen where Casey handed him a mug of coffee. Dan accepted it gratefully. By the time he’d drained his cup he felt almost ready to face the day.
“What time will you be in to the studio?” Casey asked as he rinsed Dan’s mug.
“I’ll be there by noon rundown,” he promised.
“Good.” Casey nodded. “I’ll pull together some notes for you so you don’t get too behind.”
Dan grinned at him. “What would I do without you?”
“You’d work harder.” Casey smirked back.
Laughing, Dan shrugged his coat on, “I’ll see you at work.”
Casey nodded absentmindedly as he finished loading up his dishwasher. As he opened the front door to leave, Dan couldn’t help staring back over his shoulder for a long moment, once again struck by the comfortable domesticity of it all.
“You seem restless this morning, Dan,” Abby noted wryly, watching him pace back and forth in front of her desk. Dan sighed and forced himself to sit on the sofa, but a second later he was up and moving again.
“I think I scared K off.” He said, finally.
“Your internet pen-pal?”
“Yeah. We talked briefly over Instant Messenger and I got a little too needy so he signed off. I didn’t get a single email from him yesterday.”
“That worries you?”
“Yeah! I was enjoying his company, virtual though it was. I really think we could have gotten very close.”
“But he still refuses to meet with you.”
“Exactly. But I think I have another problem.”
“Which is?”
Dan sighed, “I don’t think I’m over Casey after all.”
Abby grimaced in sympathy. “Do you think you have any chance with Casey?”
Dan stopped pacing and sat down. “Yesterday I’d have said no.”
“But today?”
“I’m not so sure.” Dan described for Abby all the things he’d discovered at Casey’s apartment, as well as what had happened when he woke up.
“Sounds to me like he’s more available than you thought.” Abby smiled.
“But if he is, and we make a go of it, I’ll always wonder about K.” Dan stood up decisively. “I’m going to have to insist on meeting him. Then I’ll know one way or the other.”
Abby looked doubtful. “You can’t force him to meet you.”
Dan shrugged. “If he doesn’t show, it wasn’t meant to be.”
To: sportsnightfan_k@gmail.com
From d.rydell@sportsnight.csc.com
Listen, I know you probably don’t want to hear from me anymore. I respect that and I won’t bother you again.
But I have one last request. Meet me for a drink at the new Jazz club downtown at 12.30 this evening.
I really need you to do this for me. I care a lot about you, but there’s the possibility of someone else. I don’t want to go into a new relationship wondering what might have been.
Please? Just as a friend, if nothing else.
Dan
Dan sat at a table in the corner of the bar, listening to the Jazz band and watching the door intently. It was one a.m., and he was about ready to give up and go home.
Then the door opened and a familiar face entered.
“Casey?” he whispered, his mind racing. This couldn’t possibly be a co-incidence…could it?.
Casey scanned the room before he spotted Dan. He headed in his direction, looking decidedly nervous.
“Casey, what are you doing here?”
His friend swallowed a little, “You … invited me.”
“I invited you?” Dan’s mouth hung open in shock, “You’re K? As in ‘K’ for Casey?”
Casey nodded, staring at his hands guiltily.
“But why, Casey?”
“I didn’t mean all this to happen.” Casey explained sadly, “I just wanted to be able to tell you how I felt, since I’m too much of a coward to say it to your face.”
Dan stared at him, a lot of things suddenly making sense; how comfortable the conversations had been – he’d said himself it was like taking to Casey; Casey’s heartfelt “I’m sorry” when he’d been freaking out over K’s silence. Then he laughed.
“You have seen ‘You’ve Got Mail’!” he accused, grinning.
Casey smiled back sheepishly, “I caught it on TV one weekend,” he admitted. Then he looked at Dan apprehensively, “What happens now? Can you forgive me for deceiving you? You said in your e-mail there was the possibility of someone else?”
“Yeah, and I lifted that from the movie.” Dan chuckled. “Meg Ryan gets the easiest break-ups!”
Casey offered the ghost of a smile. “Danny?” He pressed for an answer.
Dan thought for a long moment. He should be mad at Casey, but then again he’d admitted he had feelings for him. And frankly, that just rocked Dan’s world.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Casey.” He smiled reassuringly
“And this someone else? Was that true?” Casey asked, eyes full of fear. Dan nodded and Casey squeezed his eyes shut, as if in pain.
“Okay. Well, at least you know now.” He rose to leave, but Dan grabbed his wrist.
“Woah, woah! Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home.”
Dan stood up and released Casey’s wrist, freeing his hand to briefly caress his friend’s arm. “Can I come too?”
Casey stared at him and Dan could see realisation dawn. A beatific smile spread across his face.
“You mean it?”
“Hell yeah,” Dan breathed,
Casey squeezed his arm, his eyes telling Dan he intended to do more once they were alone.
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I love happy Dan and Casey.
I also love the idea that both of them had seen You've Got Mail, which was so not a good movie, but I loved it anyway.
Danny really does need to be hit on the head sometimes to see what is right in front of him.
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I was a little concerned I was telegraphing the plot too much -
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Hell, I figured out You've Got Mail right away also (of course having seen the adds, and the original movie it was based on, didn't hurt;-) ).
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Nice job on solving the formatting issue!
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I was going to say that I'm going to go to bed and dream about what Casey did to Danny once they got home.
Happy boys - a lovely way to end my evening.
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Hope you had nice dreams! I dreamt this morning I'd snuck in to watch Detriot in the World Series....
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*loves*
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I was really worried the plot was too obvious - and it probably is. But at least I've gotten positive feedback - thank you so much!
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I didn't figure it out till pretty far in, just so you know. I thought it was a 'make casey jealous' plot. (never do know who the bad guy is, either!)
And you definitely put them in the right roles - - Casey is plausible as the one who is afraid to speak up as himself, and it's quite believable that Danny would respond.
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Good - I'm glad it wasn't too obvious. The element of 'I know something you don't know' can be entertaining for a reader, but not right from the get-go.
I think he totally would respond to a message like that from a fan. :-) Maybe he wouldn't intend to get into that kind of friendship, but he'd definitely thank them for the compliments and take it from there.